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December 24, 2004 9:02 am by Basil

The cough came back, which means more drugs. Before I lose consciousness, I thought I’d post another edition of Headline News:

From The Boston Channel:
Fishing Boat Survivor Recounts Ordeal
DNC still not satisfied

From CNN:
TSA modifies pat-downs to exclude breasts
Shortage of male TSA personnel expected

From CNN:
‘The best-known black man on Earth’
Old whats-his-name

From Washington Post:
Palestinians, Israelis Endorse Conference
Both expect AFC to win Super Bowl, Pro Bowl

From Washington Post:
Two French Hostages Released After Four Months
Terrorists released pair after realization that nobody cared

From The New York Times:
Annan Says Oil-for-Food Produced a Bad Year
What with the US troops keeping things honest and all

From The New York Times:
Bush Says Iraqis Aren’t Yet Able to Quell Rebels
President wins bet with Cheney over ability to use ‘quell’ in a sentence

From The New York Times:
F.D.A. Calls Ads for Cholesterol Pill Crestor ‘False and Misleading’
Agency: Patrick Stewart’s voice improperly implies Star Fleet endorsement

From The New York Times:
Three Dozen New Galaxies Are Found in Nearby Space
NASA asks: “Can we keep them?”

From The New York Times:
Her Heart’s in the Right Place. Or Is It?
An in-depth analysis of Klingon anatomy

From The New York Times:
Methane in Martian Air Suggests Life Beneath the Surface
Professor Farnsworth’s smell-o-scope a success

From The New York Times:
U.S. Slips in Attracting the World’s Best Students
Victoria’s Secret credited

From BBC:
Broadband steams ahead in the US
Coal-fired broadband expected within months

From BBC:
Tourists offered ride on Tito’s train
New attraction opens at Neverland

From CNN:
Philadelphia schools experiment seen as model
Was inspiration for “Weird Science”

From AJC:
Clinton Opens New Unit at N.Y. Hospital
Hopes new one doesn’t get him into as much trouble as old one

From AJC:
The cornerstone of Waffle House
Uh, Waffles?

From The New York Times:
2 Women Lead Chile’s Presidential Race
Either way, Chile’s screwed